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🔥 Roasted this week: 4
Pieces of advice: 39
Roasters: 14

@payments_paulo6d agosampleTechMid-level

Backend engineer, payments infrastructure

Idempotent Ivan

Backend engineer, payments infrastructure

Summary

Backend engineer specializing in high-volume payment systems. Most recently cut checkout p99 from 900ms to 210ms while tripling peak throughput.

Experience

Senior Software Engineer · Cyberdyne Systems

2022 – Present

Cut checkout p99 latency from 900ms to 210ms by moving fraud checks off the synchronous path
Scaled the payments API from 40K to 300K requests per minute through two holiday peaks with zero downtime
Eliminated duplicate-charge incidents (11 per month to zero) by adding idempotency keys across 14 endpoints

Software Engineer · Duff Beverage Group

2019 – 2022

Built the retry-and-reconciliation pipeline that recovered $1.2M in failed captures in its first year
Cut deploy time from 40 minutes to 9 by parallelizing the integration test suite

Education

Xavier's Institute

BS, Computer Science

2015 – 2019

Skills

Languages: Go, Java, SQL

Infrastructure: Kubernetes, Kafka, Postgres

@closer_cole6d agosampleSalesSenior

Duke of Dials

Enterprise Account Executive

Summary

Enterprise AE, six years in B2B SaaS: $11M closed since 2021, never below 104% of quota, three President's Clubs — each earned in the top 10% of the team, not the top half.

Experience

Enterprise Account Executive · Vandelay Software

2022 – Present

Closed $4.6M ARR against a $3.8M quota (121%) in FY25 — 9 net-new enterprise logos, $210K average deal
Ranked 2nd of 28 reps in FY24; President's Club three consecutive years
Self-sourced 40% of closed pipeline ($1.8M) through outbound to operations leaders during an inbound-drought year

Mid-Market Account Executive · Globex Corp

2019 – 2022

Averaged 111% attainment across three years on a $1.2M quota; promoted to enterprise in two years

Education

Xavier's Institute

BA, Business

2013 – 2017

Skills

Tools: Salesforce, Gong, Outreach

Methodology: MEDDIC

@ib_analyst_ivy6d agosampleFinanceMid-level

Pitchbook Phantom

Investment banking analyst

Experience

Investment Banking Analyst · Pierce & Pierce

2024 – Present

Built the operating model for a $340M industrials acquisition; identified $18M in cost synergies that became the core of the buyer's bid rationale
Drafted the management presentation for a $120M carve-out that signed at 9.2x EBITDA, 1.1x above the initial indication
Valued 14 companies using DCF, trading comps, and precedent transactions across six sell-side processes

Summer Analyst (return offer) · Pierce & Pierce

Jun 2023 – Aug 2023

Ran the working-group list and data room for a $75M sale process, fielding 200+ diligence requests across four bidders

Education

Empire State University

BS, Finance · GPA 3.8 · SAT 1520

2020 – 2024

Skills

Technical: DCF, LBO modeling, Trading comps, Excel

Interests: Marathon running, Chess

Mystery Otter6d agosampleTechNew grad

Entry Level Enigma

New grad software engineer

Summary

CS graduate looking for a first backend role. Internships at Pied Piper and Very Real Startup.

Experience

Software Engineering Intern · Pied Piper

Jun 2025 – Aug 2025

Worked on the internal billing service
Helped migrate tests to a new framework
Attended daily standups and sprint planning

Education

Whiteboard Institute of Technology

BS, Computer Science · GPA 3.6

2021 – 2025

Skills

Languages: Java, Python, SQL

Tools: Git, Docker

The Candidate7d agosampleOperationsStudent

Operations student in my spreadsheet era

Intern To Be Named Later

Operations student in my spreadsheet era

Summary

Junior year business student interested in operations and process improvement.

Experience

Operations Intern · Buy N Large

Jun 2025 – Aug 2025

Helped the operations team with various tasks
Redesigned the shipping-label process, cutting fulfillment errors from 6% to 1%
Attended daily warehouse standups

Education

Empire State University

BS, Operations Management (expected) · GPA 3.6

2023 – 2027

Skills

Tools: Excel, SQL, Tableau

@ux_uma7d agosampleDesignSenior

Statistically Significant Sam

Senior UX Designer

Summary

Senior UX designer for conversion-critical flows. My last three shipped redesigns moved their primary metric 19% to 44%; portfolio case studies cover all three end to end.

Experience

Senior UX Designer · Tyrell Corp

2022 – Present

Redesigned the onboarding flow behind a 31% activation lift, validated in a six-week A/B test with 40K users
Ran 20+ moderated usability sessions that killed a navigation re-architecture before it shipped, saving an estimated two quarters of rework
Built the checkout error-state system that cut payment-failure support tickets by 44%

Product Designer · Aperture Science

2019 – 2022

Shipped design-system form components adopted by 6 product teams, cutting design-to-dev handoff from 5 days to 2
Lifted trial-to-paid conversion 19% by redesigning the pricing page around task-based plans

Education

Monsters University

BFA, Interaction Design

2015 – 2019

Skills

Tools: Figma, Maze, Principle

Methods: Usability testing, Prototyping, Design systems, Accessibility

Anon Panda7d agosampleFinanceNew grad

Pivot Table Prodigy

New grad, financial analyst

Summary

Recent finance graduate eager to grow and add value to a team.

Experience

Finance Intern · Duke & Duke

Jun 2025 – Aug 2025

Assisted the FP&A team with monthly reporting
Built a variance analysis model that cut the close-review cycle from five days to two
Attended weekly finance leadership meetings

Education

Hogwarts

BS, Finance · GPA 3.5

2021 – 2025

Skills

Tools: Excel, SQL, Tableau

Sir Redacted7d agosampleMarketingNew grad

Marketing coordinator, new grad

Hashtag Harriet

Marketing coordinator, new grad

Summary

Recent marketing graduate excited to bring creativity and hard work to a growing team.

Experience

Marketing Intern · Wonka Industries

Jun 2025 – Aug 2025

Helped run the company's social media accounts
Grew Instagram engagement 3x by shifting to a weekly reels format
Attended weekly marketing team meetings

Education

Hogwarts

BA, Marketing · GPA 3.4

2021 – 2025

Skills

Tools: Canva, Google Analytics, Hootsuite

@teach_tessa7d agosampleEducationMid-level

Anon Y Mouse

Middle school math teacher

Summary

Middle-school math teacher, seven years. My last three cohorts averaged 21 points of growth on state assessments; 2025 district Teacher of the Year finalist.

Experience

Math Teacher, Grades 7-8 · Springfield Middle School

2019 – Present

Raised state math proficiency from 48% to 71% across 140 students over three years using standards-based grading and weekly data cycles
Built the after-school tutoring program now serving 60 students; 85% of regular attendees moved up at least one proficiency band
Mentor 2 first-year teachers per year; all 6 mentees to date earned effective-or-higher ratings

Math Teacher, Algebra I · Shermer High School

2017 – 2019

Cut the failing-grade rate in Algebra I from 22% to 9% by introducing mastery-based retakes

Education

Monsters University

MEd, Curriculum & Instruction

2015 – 2017

Backyard MIT

BA, Mathematics

2011 – 2015

Skills

Certifications: State teaching license, grades 6-12 mathematics, AVID trained

Tools: Google Classroom, Desmos, PowerSchool

@icu_izzy7d agosampleHealthcareMid-level

ICU Registered Nurse (RN, license and state board on file)

Incognito In Scrubs

ICU Registered Nurse (RN, license and state board on file)

Summary

Critical-care RN with six years in a 28-bed medical ICU. Certifications: Critical Care Registered Nurse (CCRN), AACN, exp. 03/2028; Advanced Cardiovascular Life Support (ACLS) and Basic Life Support (BLS), American Heart Association, exp. 06/2028. Daily charting in Epic; previous facility on Cerner.

Experience

ICU Staff Nurse · Sacred Heart Hospital

2021 – Present

Manage care for 2 high-acuity patients per shift in a 28-bed medical ICU holding a 94% unit patient-satisfaction score
Led the central-line infection-reduction bundle rollout that took CLABSI events from 4 per quarter to zero for three consecutive quarters
Precepted 6 new-graduate nurses; all 6 passed competency validation on the first attempt

Medical-Surgical Nurse · Riverbend Medical Center

2019 – 2021

Managed 5-6 patients per shift on a 36-bed med-surg unit while keeping on-time medication administration above 98%

Education

Seattle Grace School of Nursing

BSN

2015 – 2019

Skills

Clinical: Ventilator management, Titratable drips, CRRT, IV therapy

Systems: Epic, Cerner

Side Quest Steve7d agosampleDesignStudent

Design student

Doodle Protection Program

Design student

Summary

Junior year design student who loves creating beautiful and user-friendly experiences.

Experience

Design Intern · Pied Piper

Jun 2025 – Aug 2025

Helped the design team with various projects
Redesigned the onboarding flow, taking completion rate from 52% to 74%
Attended weekly design critiques

Education

Bikini Bottom Art Institute

BFA, Graphic Design (expected) · GPA 3.8

2023 – 2027

Skills

Tools: Figma, Adobe Creative Suite, Sketch

Anon Panda7d agosampleTechNew grad

Full-Stack Ninja | Visionary Technologist | Code Wizard

Thought Leader In Training

Full-Stack Ninja | Visionary Technologist | Code Wizard

Summary

Dynamic, results-oriented thought leader seeking a challenging position where I can leverage cutting-edge synergies to spearhead innovative, best-in-class solutions. Passionate self-starter and team player with a proven track record of thinking outside the box.

Experience

Junior Web Developer · Bluth Company

2024 – Present

Responsible for developing web pages
Responsible for fixing bugs assigned in the ticketing system
Responsible for attending agile ceremonies and daily scrum
Responsible for participating in team-building activities
Responsible for updating my tickets in a timely manner
Utilized various technologies to deliver value-added solutions
Leveraged synergies across cross-functional teams
Communicated effectively with stakeholders

IT Intern · Prestige Worldwide

Jun 2023 – Aug 2023

Responsible for shadowing senior developers
Helped with computer setup for new employees

Education

YouTube University

BS, Computer Science · GPA available upon request

2020 – 2024

Skills

Technical Skills: Microsoft Word, Microsoft Excel, PowerPoint, Windows 11, HTML, Typing (75 WPM)

Soft Skills: Team Player, Hard Worker, Synergy, Thought Leadership, Vibes

Burner Account7d agosampleEducationNew grad

New grad, elementary teacher

Miss Frizzle Adjacent

New grad, elementary teacher

Summary

Recent education graduate passionate about helping students reach their potential.

Experience

Student Teacher · Third Street Elementary

Jan 2025 – May 2025

Helped the lead teacher with lesson planning
Designed a reading intervention that moved 80% of a struggling group to grade-level by year end
Attended weekly staff meetings

Education

Hogwarts

BA, Elementary Education · GPA 3.6

2021 – 2025

Skills

Tools: Google Classroom, Excel, Laminating (advanced)

Witness Protection Wanda8d agosampleTechStudent

CS student, class of 2027

Syllabus Week Survivor

CS student, class of 2027

Summary

Motivated computer science student who works well in teams and is passionate about technology.

Experience

Software Engineering Intern · Aperture Science

Jun 2025 – Aug 2025

Attended team meetings and helped with QA
Fixed minor UI bugs in the internal dashboard
Won first place out of 40 teams at the company hackathon

Education

Miskatonic University

BS, Computer Science (expected) · GPA 3.7

2023 – 2027

Skills

Languages: Python, JavaScript, C++

Coursework: Data Structures, Operating Systems

@b2b_bianca8d agosampleMarketingMid-level

Demand Generation Manager

Attribution Athena

Demand Generation Manager

Summary

Demand generation manager, five years in B2B SaaS. Own a $1.4M annual budget that generated $18M in qualified pipeline last year; cut blended CAC 31% over the same period.

Experience

Demand Generation Manager · Lumon Industries

2022 – Present

Generated $18M in qualified pipeline on a $1.4M budget, sourcing 60% of company pipeline across paid search and events
Cut cost per SQL from $410 to $265 by killing two underperforming channels and reallocating the spend
Lifted MQL-to-SQL conversion from 9% to 19% by rebuilding lead scoring jointly with the sales team

Marketing Specialist · Initech

2020 – 2022

Ran the webinar program that produced 480 SQLs a year at half the cost per lead of paid social

Education

Community College of the Multiverse

BA, Communications

2016 – 2020

Skills

Tools: HubSpot, Marketo, Google Analytics

Channels: Paid search, Events, Email

@ml_mia8d agosampleTechSenior

Senior data scientist

Statistically Significant Sal

Senior data scientist

Summary

Data scientist who ships models that move business metrics — $3.1M in annual churn savings and a tripled experimentation velocity across my last two roles.

Experience

Senior Data Scientist · Massive Dynamic

2022 – Present

Built a churn-prediction model (89% precision) that drove a 14% retention lift worth $3.1M annually
Designed and analyzed 45 A/B tests across the growth funnel, killing three roadmap bets before they cost an engineering quarter
Cut feature-pipeline runtime from 6 hours to 40 minutes by pushing aggregation into the warehouse

Data Scientist · Los Pollos Hermanos

2019 – 2022

Shipped the demand-forecast model that cut over-ordering waste 23% across 60 fulfillment sites
Built the experiment-analysis library adopted by all 9 product teams, tripling experiment velocity

Education

University of Phoenix Down

MS, Statistics

2017 – 2019

Backyard MIT

BS, Mathematics

2013 – 2017

Skills

Languages: Python, SQL, R

ML & Infra: PyTorch, scikit-learn, Airflow, dbt

Totally Not Batman8d agosampleDesignNew grad

UI/UX designer, new grad

Auto Layout Annie

UI/UX designer, new grad

Summary

Design graduate passionate about crafting delightful digital products.

Experience

UX Design Intern · Los Pollos Hermanos

Jun 2025 – Aug 2025

Simplified the checkout flow from six steps to three, lifting conversion by 18%
Worked on various design system components
Participated in user research sessions

Education

Empire State University

BFA, Interaction Design

2021 – 2025

Skills

Tools: Figma, Framer, Principle

LinkedIn Lurker9d agosampleFinanceNew grad

Aspiring Finance Professional | CEO Mindset

Wolf of Dorm Street

Aspiring Finance Professional | CEO Mindset

Summary

Highly motivated go-getter with a passion for the markets and a hunger for success. My objective is to obtain a position at a top-tier investment bank where I can maximize shareholder value and disrupt the status quo. I eat, sleep, and breathe finance.

Experience

Founder & CEO · Bedroom Capital Management

2023 – Present

Achieved significant returns through strategic trades
Studied the markets daily and developed a winning mindset

Intern · Gringotts Trust Co

Jun 2024 – Aug 2024

Shadowed various departments
Gained exposure to the banking industry

Education

Shark Tank University

BA, Finance

2021 – 2025

Skills

Activities: Finance Club (VP), Investment Society, Entrepreneurship Club, Consulting Club, Debate Society, Poker Club, Networking Committee

Skills: Microsoft Office, Bloomberg (familiar), Leadership, Hustle, References: my mom

@platform_priya9d agosampleTechMid-level

Platform engineer

Notorious YAML

Platform engineer

Summary

Platform engineer with four years of experience building internal developer tooling.

Experience

Platform Engineer · Initech

2023 – Present

Improved the deployment pipeline
Reduced average build time from 14 minutes to 4 minutes by caching dependency layers
Migrated 60 services from Jenkins to GitHub Actions with zero missed deploys

Software Engineer · Hooli

2021 – 2023

Built internal tools for the infra team
On-call rotation for production incidents

Education

Gotham State

BS, Computer Science

2017 – 2021

Skills

Languages: Go, Python, Bash

Tools: Terraform, Kubernetes, GitHub Actions

@ledger_leo9d agosampleFinanceMid-level

FP&A Senior Analyst

Vlookup Veteran

FP&A Senior Analyst

Summary

FP&A analyst with five years of experience supporting quarterly forecasting.

Experience

Senior Financial Analyst · Initrode Global

2023 – Present

Owned the quarterly forecast model
Cut forecast variance from 12% to 4% by rebuilding the demand-driver inputs
Automated the monthly close reconciliation, saving the team roughly 20 hours a month

Financial Analyst · Hooli

2020 – 2023

Supported the FP&A team on ad hoc requests
Worked closely with accounting on month-end close

Education

Springfield University

BS, Finance

2016 – 2020

Skills

Tools: Excel, SQL, Anaplan